Tuesday, May 10, 2005

May 9, 2005

Short People Round Here
First let’s get something straight; North Korea is not a nation, it’s a Hood run by an Asian version of the Crips. Selling drugs and guns to anyone with hard currency is how they generate hard currency. They kidnap citizens of neighboring nations, not for their bodies, but for their brainpower.

North Korea’s foreign policies mirror the insecurities of it’s half-pint leader, Kim Jong II, who defensively rages as if he believes the entire world is singing “We don’t need no short people round here,” in four part harmony.

All this causes Kim The Minor to reinforce virtually every short-person stereotype on the books. He wears lifts in his shoes. He lets his hair grow long then does a Don King thing with it so it stands up straight gaining him another two inches of altitude. And, of course, he blusters and threatens any country that looks at him sideways. “You wanna piece of this? Huh, huh?”

But it the shoe lifts have failed to give the little fruitcake the respect he seeks. So now he is threatening to acquire the biggest shoe lifts on earth, nuclear weapons and the missiles needed to step across the Pacific and leave giant Kim-foot prints on US soil. Kim says he may be short, but his missiles are tall.

All this is grim news for those of us that live on the West Coast. Nevertheless I had to smile when I read what set off the alarm bells at the CIA. It was a satellite photo that showed North Koreans preparing what looked like a site to test a nuclear weapon. The give away was the construction of massive viewing stands. Yeah, open-air bleachers!

If this true then I say let the little bastards test their bomb. Let Kim invite his closest 10,000 friends to watch from nearby bleachers. What can explain this? Either the N. Koreans are unclear on the concept of nuclear explosions or one of the scientists they kidnapped from Japan is about to get even, big time.

Anyway, if it happened it would be the easiest and quickest regime change in human history.

Of course they are not that dumb. We should be so lucky. The North Koreans snookered the Clinton administration and, for the past five years, have been jerking the Bush folk around like monkeys on a leash. Now they are ready to light off their first nuke.

I have said this before and it needs to be said again. China is the key. The only way to get China to drop the hammer on Short Stuff is to publicly announce that if North Korea tests American nukes will be installed in Japan and South Korea the next morning. And that we will deploy a full naval blockade of North Korea and enforce it with force is necessary.

Now, that’s what I call being serious about non-proliferation. Anything short of that is just talk, and Not-So-Great Leader Kim knows its.

Your move Big-Talkin-George. Iran can’t wait to see what you do if N.Korea gets away with a nuclear test.

Body Counts – Last Refuge of Losers?
Those of us who lived through the Vietnam War remember “body counts” all too well. In an effort to prove to American’s that we were winning that mistake of a war the Pentagon began releasing a weekly accountings of how many North Vietnamese and Viet Cong they had killed. These accountings were carefully calculated to assure the number of enemy dead was always ten times or more than the 100 plus American soldiers killed the same week. (Figures don’t lie but liars can figure.)

After the war we learned that those accountings of enemy dead were so bogus even Arthur Andersen would not have signed off on them. Anything Asian found dead that week was counted as an enemy kill -- kids, mothers, the elderly -- and then, if the number was still deemed too low, they would throw in an estimate of how many they might have killed but never found the pieces.

If you treated those official body counts as a score then you would have concluded that we were indeed winning the Vietnam War. The numbers aid we were kicking their butts, big time.

Of course we weren’t winning. In fact, we lost, big time.

So I was not reassured today when I saw this story in my morning newspaper:

May 9 (Bloomberg) -- About 75 insurgents have been killed in western Iraq in the first 24 hours of an operation by coalition forces near the border with Syria, the U.S. military said today. (Full Story)

When this war began the Pentagon explicitly refused to release body counts, noting that they were not relevant. But now, three years and still fighting, we see the return of body counts along with almost daily news of the capture of some character we never heard of before but whom is now described as a “high value” terrorist.

Is this a sign we are losing? No, not yet. We have to wait until the administration declares a sighting of “the light at the end of the tunnel.”

What If?
Have you wondered lately what would happen if a general election were held today? How would Bush do? And would Republicans be able to maintain their dominance of Congress?

An answer is at hand.

LONDON (Reuters) - British Prime Minister Tony Blair rejected calls to resign on Monday as he reshuffled the ministerial pack after last week's election sharply weakened his Labour government….Blair won an unprecedented straight third term for the center-left Labour party last week, but voters whose trust in him was damaged by Iraq more than halved his majority. (Full Story)

I am confident that if we had an election today the results here would nearly mirror those in Britain. Of course a lot would depend on who the Democrats put up in opposition to Bush and Congressional Republicans. But even if Dems put up their usual roster of limp-wristed, valueless, triangulating losers, the balance of power would shift dramatically – at the very least, back towards a genuine balance.

The reasons for such a change here would be the same as they were in Britain. There voters hated the war in Iraq and made Blair pay for playing Bush’s yes-man. But they also realized that Blair’s Labor Party had continued its Clintonite domestic economic policies which they liked. They also knew that the Tories (Republicans with a British accent,) would return the country to the uncompassionate conservative, Republican-like Thatcher economic polices. So they slapped Blair around for the war and then reelected his party anyway.

Bush does not have that advantage. The first thing he did when elected was to gut the fiscally responsible Clinton economic policies. So, if Bush had run today he could only run on a war he lied to get us into and humungous deficits that are now beginning to take their toll on an already shaky economy.

Congressional Republicans would fare even worse. Republican voters are shifting nervously as they watch their members of Congress wade into personal matters, like the Schiavo case, and pass intrusive measures like the Patriot Act and threaten sitting federal judges. Most Republican voters did not vote for any of that.

But we still have a year and half before the next mid-term election and three years before the next general election. I suppose I could take some comfort in assuming that Bush and his fellow Republicans will only get themselves into even more trouble between now and then. I am quite certain the will.

The only trouble is we are all passengers on this high-stakes Mr. Froggie’s Wild Ride.

I.Q.’s On Display
Did you know that Christian white people with names like Jethro and Mary Sue, and Billy Joe are smarter than black people and Jews? Yep, God made-em that way.

Anyway, that was the point these folks were trying to make over the weekend.

BOSTON -- White supremacists clashed with an angry crowd outside Faneuil Hall, where Holocaust survivors and their families were commemorating the liberation of Nazi concentration camps. (Full Story)

White supremacists always amaze me. While they are adamant in their belief that white Christians are God’s chosen people, they are a bad advertisement for both their position and God.

I feel sorry for people who are simply ignorant. But I despise people who are both ignorant and arrogantly ignorant. I have yet to meet a white supremacist who was not a complete ignoramus. They never seem to see the contradictions that surround their own lives. If they are God’s chosen people then I guess we also have to believe that mobile homes are God’s chosen abodes – even though He also clearly enjoys using tornados to rip them apart every spring.

This particular bunch of losers was in Boston to harass their second favorite target right after blacks, Jews. Blacks, Jews and Liberals are white supremacist’s axis of evil. They can trace every one of their own life’s country-and-western-soap-opera, Jerry Springer-show miseries to one or a combination of the three.

If they are stuck in a low-paying job it’s not because they could not be a corporate CEO, but because the Jews keep those jobs for themselves.

If they are stuck in a rotten neighborhood it’s because minorities moved in and, since the Jews get all the good jobs, they can’t afford to move to a better neighborhood.

If their kids are stupid it’s because those secular humanist liberals won’t let them pray in school and fill their heads with Bible-contradicting evolution lessons.

And of course those damn liberals are in cahoots with minorities and Jews making sure minorities get promoted instead of them and behind it all is big Jewish money.

There’s no reasoning with a white supremacist, so don't bother trying. They are lost to all logic. They will go to their graves believing the Holocaust was nothing more than giant publicity stunt cooked up by the Jews to get sympathy.

But at least one good thing does flow from every public demonstration by white supremacists. Every time they display themselves in public they disprove the central theory of their movement. They prove that, rather than all whites being superior, some are so stupid scientists should study how people with so few neurons firing keep their internal organs functioning.

By Stephen Pizzo
Raconteur at Large

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